The Worst Class Ever
by VTPM
Summary: (Modern AU) It's Veteran's Day, and Konoha Elementary has invited a veteran soldier to answer questions of Iruka's class. Iruka never imagined this could go so, so wrong.


(A/N: Why did I waste my time writing this, you ask? Because Hidan and Iruka interacting sounded too good to resist. Also I live for crack stories and want to write more. XD)

Today was supposed to be a great day, Iruka thought. From a teacher's perspective anyways. A veteran soldier gets to receive appropriate admiration and well deserved attention, his students got to learn from a great man or woman who fought for their country, the children got something different and interactive from usual school papers, and he got to be lazy with the day's lessons. A win for everyone, no?

He stood at the front of the class and smiled. "We're going to have a special guest in class with us today in honor of Veteran's Day."

Several of the children perked up in their seats and gave him closer attention, and Konohamaru fist pumped and cheered.

Smiling in relief that his class was excited to learn about their modern day heroes, Iruka calmly ushered them to quiet down while he retrieved the said guest from the main office, giving them a look that said 'get out of your seats while I'm gone and your backpack will weigh a ton with how much homework you get'.

The walk to the office only took a few minutes and he had to blink a few times in confusion to assure himself he was seeing things right.

The man dressed in military fatigue was even younger than himself, clearly only in his early twenties, with oddly grey-silver hair swept back with copious amounts of hairgel and the most unique eyes of violet he'd ever seen. [And he even had a girl with pure white eyes in his class.] He didn't even look like he'd been in the army other than his clothes.

"Um, excuse me. You're the soldier, right?" Iruka asked politely, slightly nervous at wondering how exactly to address him.

He looked up and finally gave the teacher his attention, nodding. "Yeah, I am. I'm guessing you're the teacher of the class I'm seeing today, right?"

"Yes, that's correct. My name's Iruka Umino." He introduced, holding out his hand.

"Name's Hidan Yu." The soldier replied, accepting the handshake.

"Well, I'll lead you to my classroom now, before the children get up to no good." Iruka said, starting back down the hall, earning an eye roll as Hidan followed, his dog tags and other odd circular necklace clinking together..

"Tch, I have nothing against kids, but how do you put up with twenty of them ever day, huh?"

"I'm not really sure myself sometimes," Iruka admitted sheepishly. "Guess I've always just liked children a lot, even if they can be a chore. The payoff is worth the work."

Hidan merely hummed, and Iruka asked, "Which rank are you anyways, Mr. Yu?"

"First of all, drop the formal crap. It's annoying, seriously. And second, I'm sure the kids will be asking that, yeah?"

Iruka nodded weakly, feeling abashed and tried to ignore the heat that rushed to his cheeks from feeling flustered at being insulted, even if it was casual and not intended to be degrading. Luckily arriving back at the room was a good distraction and he walked into the room, finding all the students in their seats, though noticed several paper airplanes that weren't there when he left.

Deciding to ignore it, he lead Hidan to the front of the room, the awed looks not escaping his notice, though the soldier himself seemed oblivious to it.

After a brief introduction, Iruka went to his desk and allowed his students to beginning asking questions, having to give Konohamru a warning look when he practically jumped onto his desk to be called on.

Everything went just fine for several minutes, until what Iruka considered to be the unspeakable happened.

"How long'd you serve for?" A girl with orange hair that stood up into two weird pigtails asked.

"Four fucking years. It was such a shit hole, seriously."

Iruka gaped at Hidan in horror, and even the children seemed tense, knowing their teacher was strict on the 'no cursing' rule.

Hidan seemed to take a moment to realize something was amiss, and glanced at Iruka in confusion. "What?"

"P-Please, don't curse in front of the children..." He managed weakly.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Force of habit and shit."

Iruka only paled and bit his lip as the questioning continued and a few other curses were said by the eccentric soldier, who also went off on a few tangents about subjects he'd rather not have presented to his elementary students, such as murder, other country's war policies, and religious crises, the last being Hidan's seemingly favorite topic. As much as he disliked the topics of the soldier's choice, the children seemed interested and oddly fascinated with his way of explaining things, despite them being too morbid for Iruka's taste, and he was reluctant to ask him to stop in fear of being disrespectful. The point of this had been for a solider to give their personal outlook and story out, so he felt he didn't have the right to interrupt just because he was given someone who wasn't very conscious to the childrens' fragile innocence.

"Was it fun being in the army?!" Konohamaru yelled when he was finally picked, and the orange haired girl gave him a look that suggested she thought he was an idiot.

"What kind of question is that? I can't imagine it being fun at all..."

"Shut up Moegi!"

A brown haired boy who sat between them slumped in his seat, covering his ears. "Could you not yell please..?"

"Stay out of this Udon!" The scarfed boy said loudly, glaring at Moegi still and had to be threatened by Iruka to sit down so that Hidan could even answer the question.

Hidan shrugged some when the students were finally quiet and in their seats again. "Nah, it's not that great. I mean, unless any of you kids are psycho as hell and like the thought of blowing some guy's head off. There's not really all the glory and crap that people talk about. It just pretty much sucks. But hey, someone's gotta do it, right? That's just the harsh reality of it."

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the time for questioning was up, and Iruka sighed heavily in relief. He hated to be disrespectful, but this man was not someone who should be in an elementary classroom. That was just the plain truth.

"Well, looks like it's time for me to go then. This has been fun, seriously. Maybe I should do this again sometime." Hidan said, shooting Iruka a devious look and smirking at the man's horrified expression before letting himself out of the room.

The moment the door closed behind him, the students all looked over in uniform shock as their teacher slammed his head down on his desk, sobbing uncontrollably.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is short, but I found the thought of Hidan mentally breaking Iruka in his classroom very, very amusing, and I had to write it. I guess I'm a sadist like that. Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed! Feedback is always appreciated!


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